Why Silver Sucks...

I can’t stand silver cars. That’s no secret. And it’s not because I got spray painted chrome in junior high or I have some strange color bias. No. It just feels lazy and boring. Silver, and all its close relatives (gunmetal, gray, mist, metallic, anything that just looks like wax on top of primer) make up the color palette for 25% of the cars on the road.

That’s right, 1 out of every 4 cars in the U.S. are essentially the same color! Here in a country which prides itself on individuality and personal expression while providing myriads of colors available to its car buying masses. Yet most of us picked the <em>same</em> color. In fact, it’s not even a color! What happened?

Now I’m not saying that no car looks good in silver. Some do. But just like making spandex unavailable in certain sizes, there are cars which shouldn’t come in silver.

Consider the Mercedes Mclaren SLR. Over 600 horsepower of snorting V8 power packaged under a hood long enough to double as an aircraft carrier. It’s all vents and scoops, side exhausts and active spoilers. Insanity you can drive all day ensconced in fantastic leather. This car should come in “super-galactic volcanic red”. Or “Sun’plosion supernova Yellow”. Maybe even “Artist-formerly-known-as-Prince Purple Gloss”. These are colors worthy of a car so absurd and fantastic.

Yet it only comes in two colors: Black. And yes... Silver.

Black at least suggests this is Bruce Wanye’s backup when the batmobile is in the shop. But, the problem with silver reveals itself at any stoplight.

Picture this half-million dollar car coming to a stop at the light. Everyone in all directions should be looking at it, but they aren’t. And that’s because the Toyota Camry in front of it, the SUV two cars behind, the Nissan Altima, and the ancient VW Golf beside it at the same light are all the exact same color. If you can spend that much money on a car and the guy in the junker next to you can roll down his window and say “hey, our cars are the same color”... You should be pissed.

#Awarnings #Silver #Color #Rants