Cracking Up

Bill Antonitis

Jun 1, 2022

Yes, we all love driving, so presumably we love cars. But there are probably some things you don’t exactly love about driving. Traffic jams and speed traps are two universals. Likewise, there are some things we all might dislike about our vehicles. Here's what I'm thinking of at present. Clickbaity, I know, but here are five things I hate about cars.

1. Windshields

Pollen. Poop. Ice. Junk that gets stuck in your wipers and leaves streaks right at eye level. Cracks. Bugs. Ugh. Modern technology allows for aerodynamic glass that protects your face from rocks hurtling at highway speeds. That's nice and all, but windshields are also extremely annoying. Maybe I’m just sensitive to visual clutter, but I HATE a dirty windshield. And windshields are perpetually dirty. Maybe the Jeep Wrangler is on to something?

He's growing bigger every day. I'm so proud!

2. A-Pillars

Now you see me, now you don’t. Airbags and structural rigidity are good, I guess. And pedestrian safety regulations…blah, blah, blah. I’m no expert, but I know I don’t want to squish my neighbor’s dog when I’m pulling out of the driveway because I can’t see it. Or my neighbor, for that matter. I like to be protected as much as the next person, but I don’t want to live with vehicular crimes on my conscience. Will more screens and cameras eventually fix this problem? Probably. But those will force us to drive even more distractedly. Manufacturers, please thin out your A-pillars. Thanks.

3. The Crevice

That space between seats is a haunted house of dirt, gum wrappers, spare change, moldy french fries, and God knows what else. Frankly, I can understand why no one cleans it. It’s like closing your eyes and sticking your hand in a dumpster. Sure, you may discover something valuable. But is it worth it?

4. Warnings

I KNOW! I KNOW! I KNOW! Sorry I don’t drive around with extra washer fluid all the time! And--side rant--why can’t the reservoir fit a whole gallon, anyway? It’s like how hotdogs come in ten packs and buns come in eight. Anyway, dashboards used to only light up to let you know your engine just exploded. Now you can't even hop out to pump gas without a warning to check your back seat. Just leave me be!

If there's just the right amount of fluid left, it sloshes around and trips the sensor. It trips a warning that must be manually dismissed. Every. Single. Time.

5. Map Pockets

Can we please put some real storage behind the front seats? Molle panels are pretty great. Map pockets? Not so much. They’re narrow and inflexible and if you try to actually put anything in them other than a map, it just falls out. Maybe a small, lockable version of what the Silverado does in its back seats would work. Let’s figure this out, interior designers. I, for one, would be greatful.

(Bonus!) Birds

I just washed this truck! ‘Nuff said…

Okay, I'm Done for Now

What are some of your automotive annoyances? I could definitely list a few more! Let us know yours in the comments.

Bill hosts a blog and YouTube channel that lead him to think more deeply about what it means to drive. The views and opinions expressed here are his own and may not align with the founders of Everyday Driver.